Hospiletre Room (Hospital Room For Suicide Ideationeh. Pt. 1
I had lost a battle I started in my head and it was extremely difficult. Never wanted to type out my feelings or emotions.
— But Now, Now I Do. This is my story
Red Flannel shirt.
Crying everyday sickness screwed up my body from a job that drained me. A private company is the Norton Shores Area of Michigan.
In the presence of the beaches and the warm weather I thought why not die? Why not jump in front of a car at 70+mph on the F-ing highway because my life is too damn hard & I do not want to live is cause it’s too hard, I’m too selfish, too stupid, too nerdy, too much hassle for others, too much too much too much too much too much too much too,
Draining myself on social media until I’m dead & deaf and with severe back pain & missing my meds I decided NO. No, I cannot. So I called the National Suicide Hotline & said “I cannot do this anymore balling my eyes out on the phone then they responded. I’m so sorry you are going through this. What is your name and are you a veteran because I was too strange in the head. Pacing back and fourth thinking no,
I’m so sorry. He said no that’s fine Jacob. “Can you go inside.”
I said no in the down pouring rain, I’m okay. Didn’t mention before that the day started like this… Woke up to negative $40 in my bank account bolted to Planet Fitness where they said non-refundable shit. I’m like seriously I lost $80 from you.
I’m not that rich now I’m doing a bit better on money.
But that’s besides the point. Point is ran to the bank vommited at least 3–4 times sitting by the trees went into the bank a voice said come here & it was a man aged 50 I’m guessing super nice guy. He talked to me and said your okay it’s only if you are -$50 that it starts to get a bit more intense. I’m like well I’m only $10 away from that. Wouldn’t matter. So I called my counselors none answered to me. Everyone was at that time. No blame. I’m busy here wanting to end my life. While most of my family is happy and well, While I’m thinking about killing my life. I’m honestly not mad at them — they were busy while they thought there kid was OKAY.
So I called.